Telephone Call—leaked:
DT: Hi, Pute. Donnie here. Needed to chat.
Putin: Hi, Donnie. About what?
DT: You know about my problem with that broad, right?
Putin: Which one, Donnie?
DT: Oh, come on—you know. The Storm.
Putin (chuckling): Oh, yes, the one who spanked you. (chuckling again). Of course, we know what you like, ha, ha—showers and things like that.  Ha, ha.
DT: Hey, you said, you’d never . . . 
Putin: Ok, take it back; take it back. It’s just funny, given the spanking and how that must have gotten you off. Ha, ha.
DT: All right, all right.
Putin: So what do you want?
DT: I need to do a biggy tomorrow, and I just want you to know . . .
Putin: Ahhhhh. More tariffs? Nuke rocket boy?? Suspend communications with the U.K.?
DT: You know I have to do something against you.
Putin: Yes, yes, I knew why you were calling, my agents . . . 
DT: Yes, I’m going to have to kick some of them out—the spy thing and all that.
Putin: Mmmmm?
DT: About ninety—that should get some news.
Putin: Are you serious, Donnie? 
DT: I have to, Pute. I have to show you’re not running me . . . 
Putin: But, Donnie . . .

DT: Ok. Yes, I know. But . . . ok, seventy.
Putin: (pause) 60.
DT: Ok, 60; that will show them you’re not jerking my strings
Putin: But, Donnie . . .
DT: Yes, I know, but appearances, Pute.
Putin: And they really don’t have to leave right? Like the sanctions, right?
DT: Right. It’s just the news cycle—fake news.
Putin: Go ahead, Donnie. We’ll fix it up later at our meeting. Good time to take care of it.
DT: Thanks, Big Boy. I knew you’d understand.

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