I’m not enjoying working on the article I have obligated myself to. I find myself fighting forward, sentence by sentence and wondering how I got into this. I have to kind of see it through–but I’m telling myself, I’ll never do anything like this again. I’ll write only what I want to write–self-indulgent again.
Here’s an interesting (to me) tangent. (I just rethought–and decided not to write about that).
Here’s a related one: it seems to me that a love relationship is perhaps the most important thing in most of our lives. There are people (and I’ve been running into them) who want to pretend they can get along just fine without being in love. To me, this is just crazy. I know how important love is to me. Because of their writing, I also know how important love is to most of my students. I know they are seriously looking for life-partners. We’re kind of supposed to pretend that’s not what we’re doing, but that is what we’re doing. The other stuff we do–search for career and all that–lie on the periphery, but we’re supposed to pretend that the periphery is center and the center the periphery.
The subject is a bit edgy. I know that in my class, my students are reluctant to come out front with their desire, really, just to have someone to fully love who fully loves them. It is of course worth asking (and I ask myself a lot) why I would want another love like this–after all, I’m not in the procreation game. Across the decades, I know my students are asking themselves the same question. When it hurts so much, who wants it?
I would like to leave this post here–but I have to remark on something else, just because I don’t want to go back to that article. Where is the line in this blog, which is really about personal writing, between my personal life and yours? When I slip over that line, how and why will you be offended? How would I be offended if you let me know too much of you? And why?